More Jokes

Dad puts finger print(Thumb) on son's mark sheet.

Child asked father:
Being a chartered accountant,
Why did you put finger print instead of signature on my progress card.

Father replied:
idiot,after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated.ЁЯШЭЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ
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When I reached office, I got a call from my wife..."what is the date today?" .. 
ЁЯдФЁЯдФЁЯШиЁЯШ░ЁЯдТЁЯШе

I was wondering..then told her 9th May..
call disconnected...
I was wondering ( rather FRIGHTENED... ЁЯШ░ЁЯШеЁЯШи)...
her birthday?....... No
...mine............       No...(ЁЯШмЁЯШмЁЯШЭ)
......anniversary..........   no
.......  son's birthday ..........   no
in laws' bday/anniversary....   no
gas booking........     done
utility payments........done
her uncle who arrives when we want to go out, sqat and kill us and our time.....his birthday... ...no
 Then?!
Why date???
Lunch and evening tea went with spinning questions...ЁЯЩЗЁЯЩЗЁЯдФЁЯдФ
reached home...
Junior was playing in car park...
Asked him....
how is the weather in kitchen? Tornado... tsunami???
Boy told " all normal. Why?"
" your mom asked me..what is the date today in the morning?"
Boy smiled and told me...

"I tore some sheets from calendar in morning...
she was confused.."

ЁЯШ│ЁЯШ│ЁЯШ│ЁЯЩДЁЯЩДЁЯЩДЁЯдФЁЯдЧЁЯШДЁЯШБ
Being husband is a tough job.
ЁЯШАЁЯШЙЁЯШЙ

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Joke of the day

Situation  - In a room light goes off...people open their mobile torch by their normal handsets...

Girl with an Iphone × - "Please some1 show light on my face so tht I can unlock my phone"

ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ
______________________________________________________________________

Humour in Court 

A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig.
It was his first offence and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. 

So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future.

The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent judge profusely, ''Thank you, your lordship." 
He continued, "Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.''

''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you may go.''

''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?''

''Feel free'' answered the judge.

''Now I know it's wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig...
But is it also wrong to call a pig Honourable Minister?''

Amused, the judge replied, ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as a minister. 
But I don't think the pig would mind. It's not unlawful, by the way. 
Yes, you may call any pig Honourable Minister.''

The man smiled and nodded, then he turned to look pointedly at the Minister and said, ''Goodbye, Honourable Minister!"
ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ

______________________________________________________________________

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?_
*Stress is when wife is pregnant;*
*Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;*
*Panic is when both are pregnant!*_ЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯША
______________________________________________________________________

 A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman ;_
*“Which book has helped you most in your life?”*
*The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”*ЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯША
______________________________________________________________________

A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called,_ *Husband  the Master of the House?* *Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"*ЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯША
______________________________________________________________________

Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"_
*Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!*
ЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯША
______________________________________________________________________

Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day._
*Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!*ЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯШАЁЯША

______________________________________________________________________

And Finally a Religious Joke ЁЯШГЁЯШГЁЯШКЁЯШК.... 
I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar. 
The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”
I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”
The Hindu sadhu came and said "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."
I said "Babaji - nothing wrong with my legs"
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen. 
I believe in all religions now......
ЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВЁЯШВ


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Aathichudi single line verses by Tamil Poet Avvaiyar and their translation

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роЕро░்род்род роЪாро╕்родிро░роо் роЪொро▓்ро▓ுроо் роиро▓்ро╡ிро╖ропроЩ்роХро│்

1 роПрооாро▒்ро▒ுроо் рооройைро╡ி, рокோро▓ிропாрой роирог்рокрой், роЪோроо்рокேро▒ிропாрой ро╡ேро▓ைроХ்роХாро░рой் роЖроХிропро╡ро░்роХро│ுроЯрой் ро╡ாро┤்ро╡родு роТро░ு роХொроЯிроп ро╡ிро╖рок் рокாроо்рокுроЯрой் ро╡ாро┤்ро╡родை рокோрой்ро▒родு, роЗродு роиிроЪ்роЪропроо் рооро░рогрод்родை родро░ுроо். 2 роТро░ுро╡рой் родрой்ройுроЯைроп роХро╖்роЯ роХாро▓род்родிро░ுроХ்роХு родேро╡ைропாрой рокрогрод்родை рооுрой்рокே роХாроХ்роХ ро╡ேрог்роЯுроо் . ро╡ேро▓ைроХ்роХாро░ройை ро╡ேро▓ை роЪெроп்ропுроо் рокோродுроо், роЙро▒ро╡ிройро░்роХро│ை роХро╖்роЯроо் ро╡ро░ுроо் рокோродுроо், роирог்рокройை роЖрокрод்родு роиேро░ுроо் рокோродுроо், рооройைро╡ிропை роиோроп்ро╡ாроп்рок்рокроЯுроо் рокோродுроо், родூро░родிро╖்роЯрооாрой роХாро▓род்родிро▓ுроо் роЕро▒ிропро▓ாроо். 3 роЖро▒ு, роХூро▒ிроп роироХроЩ்роХро│் роЕро▓்ро▓родு роХொроо்рокுроХро│் роЙроЯைроп рооிро░ுроХроо், роЖропுродроо் роПрои்родிроп рооройிродрой், роЕро░роЪ роХுроЯுроо்рокрод்родிро▓் рокிро▒рои்родро╡ро░்роХро│ை роТро░ு роиாро│ுроо் роироо்рок роХூроЯாродு . 4 роТро░ு роХாро░ிропроо் роиிро▒ைро╡ேро▒ுроо் ро╡ро░ை роЕро╡ро▒்ро▒ை рокро▒்ро▒ி роЕро▒ிро╡ாро│ி ро╡ெро│ிропிро▓் роЪொро▓்ро▓ рооாроЯ்роЯாрой். роЕро▒ிро╡ுро│்ро│ро╡рой் родрой் роХுро┤рои்родைроХро│ுроХ்роХு роЪроХро▓ ро╡ிрод்родைроХро│் рокропிро▓ுроо் ро╡ாроп்рок்рокை родேроЯிрод் родро░ுро╡ாрой். роТро░ு роиாро│ுроо் роТрой்ро▒ைропுроо் рокроЯிроХ்роХாрооро▓ுроо், роТро░ு ро╡ро░ிропாро╡родு, роТро░ு роЪொро▓்ро▓ைропாро╡родு роХро▒்роХாрооро▓ுроо், роиро▓்ро▓ роХாро░ிропроЩ்роХро│ிро▓் роИроЯுрокроЯாрооро▓ுроо் роЪெро▓்ро▓ ро╡ேрог்роЯாроо். 5 роиро▓்ро▓ роХுроЯுроо்рокрод்родிро▓் рокிро▒рои்родாро▓ுроо், роиро▓்ро▓ ро╡роЪродிроХро│் роЗро░ுрои்родாро▓ுроо் роХро▓்ро╡ி роХро▒்роХாро╡ிроЯிрой் роТро░ுро╡рой் ро╡ாроЪройைропро▒்ро▒ рооро▓ро░ை рокோрой்ро▒ро╡рой் роЖро╡ாрой். 6 роЙроЩ்роХро│் роХுро┤рои்родைропை 5 ро╡ропродு ро╡ро░ை роХொроЮ்роЪுроЩ்роХро│், 5 -15 ро╡ропродு ро╡ро░ை родро╡...
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